Today is Tomorrow’s past …
All of us draw references from our past experiences. Unfortunately, we do this more often with the negative past experiences than the good ones. Let me give you an example. Have you heard of someone saying, “never trust anyone,” or “love is for losers,” or “never be too good” or “iss desh ka kuch nahi hoga.” It all clearly comes from a place that has been broken before. Maybe, someone broke that trust or hurt a person in love or took someone for granted or maybe someone tried to change something in his society and didn’t receive the expected support. However, if you ask the same people, if they trust their parents or love their kids or have been good to the poor and needy, the answer will be positive. We sometimes use the word, “never” way out of context.
Negative past experiences have more impact on us is because, they occurred more often with limited efforts. Think about it, a vacation can turn boring just by you doing nothing, but the same holiday can turn into a lifetime experience if you wake up early, have a plan, spend some money, explore, take pictures, etc. So much work, right. But which one will you remember more fondly? A holiday where you simply laid dead in bed or one where you saw some magnificent places and ate some rare delicacies. In the same way for a relationship to have a bad memory created, you just have to do ‘nothing about something going terribly wrong’ and it will automatically stagnate giving you a bad taste over time, but to make that same relationship a lifetime experience, you would need to listen, plan, act and explore. It takes work.
So, the point is that good and bad experiences become a part of your reference directory. Every time in the present you meet with a challenge, you automatically refer to that directory and what’s worst is, your present action plan will depend on which reference you picked. Which means, you could continue to create bad experiences even in your present if you keep picking on the negative references of the past. So, what can we do? Take a grip today because today is tomorrow’s past. Which means, today will also go down in your memory bank in the reference directory. So why not, make sure to create some good references that you yourself will be referring to. Step back in a fight, plan something with someone you haven’t taken an initiative with in a long time, finish that report, cook something and if you are on a holiday…at least go swimming. Make today a better reference point for tomorrow.
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