Managing Conflicts

Everything in nature has a process.  There are almost always ruffles in the air before a storm or a prior disturbance on the ocean bed before a tsunami.  Everything in nature follows a process.  The process of evaporation or sedimentation or even extinction.  Nothing suddenly happens.  It happens gradually even when you are unaware it is happening.  It is the same with conflicts.  A conflict does not start off with an argument or a verbal spat.  It actually takes root way before that.  Slowly, graduating to the point of an argument or a fight.  The resentment of something between people starts months before.  How then do we track this, so that a feeble exchange of words does not break a bond?  The truth is that it cannot be tracked unless all participants of a conflict want to understand rather fight.  Understanding conflicts is a matter of communication and efforts.  Unless all parties involved want to get to the root of the disagreement and solve it, no one else can.  I have met couples who brood over issues of the past and fight in the present because something back then had not healed completely.  The memories of it appear again and again to ruin the present times and maybe even the future. 

It is good to see what kind of a person you are.  Do you allow the other person to explain with the intention of understanding or do you simply backfire or interrupt thus causing the other to suppress what they were to say?  Do you actually go down deep to understand the root of a conflict or try to superficially resolve things to avoid confrontation?   Human relationships as complex as it may seem are the easiest to deal with if you know to modulate yourself as often as it takes without losing your core values and self.  If you know how to understand the process of how you got to where you are, you can actually decode the way forward too.  Everything has a process, nothing happens suddenly.  Respecting, listening, understanding and then putting the pieces together, is always a more practical and sensible way to managing conflicts.